Recovery involves goals like:
• Developing a stable, cohesive sense of self
• Reducing the need for external validation
• Increasing empathy, accountability, and emotional tolerance
• Improving trust and connection in relationships
• Learning to accept vulnerability without collapse or rage

Goals evolve over time—from managing shame to building a life experienced as worth living. It’s important to discuss with your treatment providers what your treatment plan includes. Often people will not be aware of the treatment plan their providers come up with and this can create conflict in session and in the interpersonal dynamic between patient and therapist/provider. Having a treatment plan with proposed timelines and desired outcomes for targeting specific issues can help therapy be more effective.

Here are some recovery or treatment/therapy goals to explore that are relevant (but not exclusive) to narcissistic personality disorder. Again, these issues are NOT exclusive to NPD. If you recognize any of these issues within yourself that does not mean you have NPD. One can even struggle with any of the below problems without having ANY mental illness. Always consult a mental health professional to seek proper diagnosis. That said, anyone can choose to work on problematic traits or behavior within themselves regardless of diagnosis.


Increase Self-Awareness
Goal: Recognize and understand one’s narcissistic behaviors, thought patterns, and how these affect different areas of life and functioning.

Example: Increase awareness of how exaggerated self-importance affects interactions with others. Learn about narcissistic ego defenses. Explore which areas these behaviors and traits impact your life the most.

Develop Empathy
Goal: Encourage the development of empathy.

Example: Practice understanding and acknowledging the emotions and perspectives of others during social interactions. Learn to choose compassionate action even if affective emotional response is lacking. Read more fiction or watch fictional media to practice feeling empathy in a safe environment.

Challenge Grandiosity
Goal: Address unrealistic perceptions of superiority or entitlement. Find what insecurities the grandiosity is covering.

Example: Reduce instances of boasting or exaggerating achievements by identifying realistic strengths and limitations. Work on building self esteem in the areas where insecurity arises.

Improve Emotional Regulation
Goal: Work on managing intense emotions, such as anger or frustration, that arise when the individual feels criticized or rejected.

Example: Practice coping strategies for managing feelings of criticism or rejection without becoming defensive or angry. Learn to pay attention to the physical sensations in your body to use as preventative warning sign that you need to exit the situation or self soothe/redirect in some way.

Improve Relationship Skills
Goal: Focus on improving interpersonal relationships, reducing manipulation or exploitation of others.
Example: Work on developing healthier communication skills that foster mutual respect and trust in relationships.

Reduce Need for Admiration
Goal: Decrease reliance on external validation for self-esteem.

Example: Build self-esteem through personal accomplishments rather than seeking constant praise from others.

Decrease Manipulative Behavior
Goal: Address manipulative or controlling tendencies that are often used to maintain a sense of superiority or control.

Example: Recognize when manipulation is being used to influence others and practice assertive communication instead.

Address Feelings of Vulnerability
Goal: Uncover, explore and cope with underlying feelings of vulnerability or insecurity masked by narcissistic defenses.
Example: Explore the root causes of feelings of inadequacy and develop healthy ways to address them without resorting to grandiosity.

Foster Realistic Expectations
Goal: Shift from unrealistic expectations of others (and oneself) to more balanced, attainable standards.

Example: Set realistic and achievable goals for personal and professional success, without demanding perfection from oneself or others.

Increase Tolerance for Criticism
Goal: Be able to handle criticism without experiencing extreme emotional reactions.
Example: Learn to accept constructive criticism without perceiving it as a personal attack.

Enhance Personal Accountability
Goal: Learn to take responsibility for one’s actions, reducing blame-shifting. Figure out roots of where the struggle to take accountability stems from.

Example: Acknowledge personal mistakes and take responsibility for negative behaviors, rather than blaming others.

Develop Healthy Boundaries
Goal: Learn healthy realistic boundaries

Example: Often boundaries are misused as a way to try to control others. Learn about porous, rigid and healthy boundaries, how to tolerate boundaries being violated and how to respect others boundaries.

Reduce Hostility and Aggression
Goal: Address anger and aggression, particularly when it arises from perceived threats to self-image.

Example: Identify triggers for aggressive behavior and develop strategies to manage anger in a healthier way.

Reduce Envy
Goal: Address the roots of envy issues to eliminate internal suffering

Example: Identify triggers for envy, identify patterns, increase gratitude, increase self confidence via building mastery in areas of insecurity

Increase Tolerance for Disagreement
Goal: Improve the ability to handle differing opinions without feeling personally threatened.

Example: Learn to engage in discussions where opposing views are expressed without becoming defensive or argumentative.

Promote Long-Term Change
Goal: Establish a commitment to long-term personal growth and behavioral change.

Example: Maintain regular therapy sessions and practice new interpersonal skills in daily life to create lasting change.